Delicious Chocolate Hazelnut Dip

One of my favorite things to do is to take old favorite foods and make them delicious and healthy. Something I’m not only o.k. serving my children, but that I feel really good about. And, with a family of 6, it’s important to make our treats and snacks cost-effective.

We were at a home visit for a client recently, and she served yummy tea biscuits and Nutella for a snack. Yum.

Chocolate and hazelnuts. What better combo is there? I know, I had you at chocolate. But here’s some health benefits of hazelnuts. They’re an energy-booster and rich in mono-unsaturated fatty acids like oleic as well as the essential fatty acid, linoleic acid.

These nuts are rich in dietary fiber, vitamins, and minerals and packed with numerous health promoting phyto-chemicals. Hazels are exceptionally rich in folate, a unique feature to this nut, and many other important B-complex vitamins. An excellent source of viatmin E, and a rich source of minerals like manganese, potassium, calcium, copper, iron, magnesium, zinc, and selenium.

With a list like that, I’m even more excited.

Because we have dairy sensitivities, and because I get a little too excited about making things from whole foods (and extra credit for #DF, #GF, #SF–dairy, gluten, and sugar-free), I decided to find a recipe for a homemade all-natural version of that old favorite that works for our family. And, true to form, I had to modify everything that I found. So, I just decided to wing it (as usual).

Yummy ingredients:

1.5C hazlenuts (I got them in bulk at Whole Foods)

1T coconut oil (I buy the huge tub of Nutiva from Costco)

1/4 – 1/2 C full fat coconut milk (or other alternative milk of your choice)

1.5T organic cocoa or cacao powder

1t real vanilla

pinch of sea salt (to taste)

1/2C dates (again the big tub from Costco)

Boiling water

What to do with those yummy ingredients:

Roast the hazlenuts in a 300 degree oven for 15-20 minutes until the skins are dark brown (careful not to burn). Remove their skins by rolling them around in a wire strainer or rubbing them with a clean dish towel (don’t worry if all of the skins don’t come off).

While the hazlenuts are in the oven, pour boiling water to cover the dates and let soak.

Put the fresh roasted hazlenuts and the coconut oil in your Ninja, Vitamix, or whatever powerful blender/food processor gadget you own for about 8-10 minutes, scraping down the sides every couple of minutes. I actually gave our Ninja its own room with a closed door for this project because, though I love it, it’s very loud (especially when the hubs is practicing the piano). Your end product should be smooth and creamy.

Add remaining ingredients until desired consistency. You may need to add a touch more boiling water depending on the type of milk you used. It should be a nice apple dipping consistency.

I served it warm (still warm from the roasted hazlenuts and boiling water) with apple and banana slices and our favorite nut/seed crackers.

And, success! 5 out of 6 of us LOVE it!   :0/

Happy dipping and please feel free to share your favorite healthy whole food recipes as well.

Bram Xavier Venn

At Womb to Grow, a portion of all fees go to a charitable organization that shares our values, or a family in need.

This month, our donations will go to the Bram Xavier Venn memorial fund.

This is Bram. He was born at home and his mama is a dear friend in the birthing community. Bram didn’t get to spend many years here on earth. But, he sure has impacted many in his short time here.

After a tragic accident, he did not survive. The celebration of his birth into heaven is tomorrow and funds are being raised to help cover the family’s expenses.

You can donate too.

“The Bram Venn memorial fund has been established. Anyone can donate by stopping by Credit Union of Denver and asking them to add to the Bram Venn Memorial Fund, mail to the branch office at 9305 West Alameda Ave., Lakewood, CO 80226, or call the credit union 303-234-1700 and donate that way also. All donations go directly to the Venn family. Thank you all for your support. They would especially like to thank you for showing such love for their beautiful boy ♥”

Wild and Loud or Calm and “In Control”?

The most recent birth I attended was so quiet and serene. Had I not known how mama’s first labor went, I might not have been as prepared. She hardly made a sound as she breathed her baby out. When her water broke, I quickly moved near to her and waited. Not long after, her baby’s head appeared. She proceeded to move her baby down and out, still with little sound.

In contrast, I have attended some very vocal mamas in labor, beautifully laboring and roaring through contractions. The kind of primal sounds that everyone in the room can feel – down to their toes. Most of the time I just ride the waves along with them, sometimes physically in their grips as they root themselves and gather strength. Sometimes though, I have counseled the dear woman that has the high pitched scream, the one that lets all of the air and energy up and out and sounds frightened. I have even had mamas say to me, “I’m dying! Angela, be honest, I know I’m dying”, gripping me in desperation, only to give birth moments later, and then forget all about their prior anguish while gazing into their sweet babe’s eyes.

In response to these screams and high pitched sounds, I often make my own low tones and many times, she follows and matches my sounds, encouraging all of the energy down. I reassure her that everything is o.k. and she is indeed going to live.

After reading Midwife Thinking’s post on Judging Birth, I have to ask myself. Am I really doing her a service by adding my suggestions? Or, am I making myself feel better because the low tones comfort me, in knowing she sounds less scared.

According to Michel Odent this “transitory fear expressed in an irrational way” is a typical sign that the fetus ejection reflex is about to kick in. And, in this situation, “the worst attitude would be to reassure with words”.

He adds, “This short and transitory expression of fear can be interpreted as a good sign of a spectacular increase of hormonal release, including adrenaline. It should be immediately followed by a series of irresistible contractions. During the powerful last contractions the mother-to-be seems to be suddenly full of energy, with the need to grasp something. The maternal body has a sudden tendency to be upright. For example, if the woman was previously on hands and knees, her chest tends to be vertical. Other women stand up to give birth, more often than not leaning on the edge of a piece of furniture.”

Yes!

But, I may still share a reassuring word (maybe just one), or a knowing look and a nod along with a calming squeeze on the shoulder.

So, which is better?! Wild and loud, or calm and in control?

Whether you are a roaring lion, or a quiet cat, both are beautiful and efficient ways to labor. “The point is to keep in mind the basic needs of labouring women,” Odent concludes. “The point is to reconcile the need for privacy and the need to feel secure.”

Which are you? Feel free to answer the polls below or add your own comments. I’d love to hear them!

The Hope of ICAN

My very first email this morning was from a current client who is preparing for her home VBAC (vagina birth after cesarean) or HBAC (home birth after cesarean). She wanted to share her first ICAN (International Cesarean Awareness Network) experience after attending last night’s local chapter meeting.  Her email was full of hope, something many women struggle to find after a cesarean delivery, as she learns how to trust her body.

She was able to ask all of her questions and had the wonderful opportunity of hearing a recent VBAC triumph from one of our other home birth mamas. I love the image of one mama sharing her story, passing the baton and supporting the next. This is how we change our world, one birth at a time!

Here’s an excerpt from her email (share with permission) “I feel as though I walked away with some good ideas on how to deal with my own fears, comfort in knowing I’m doing all I can, and I feel more educated on different options I may have it the baby would flip/settle breech, etc. I’m still hoping for my perfect homebirth, but I’m trying to be open to expanding my idea of a successfull, happy birthing experience in the case that it may be needed. I hope that if I find peace with other options that my fears will subside and give me a better chance of the birth I want for my baby.”

I am so thankful for ICAN, especially our local chapter and its’ leadership. And, so proud of these brave mamas!

Trust. Hope. Education. Community. Thank you ICAN!

Acacia and Ameena’s Birth Story – A “Home” Birth of Twins

When Caleb and I were dating, I started on the quest of researching natural birth control options. I wasn’t at all interested in repeating the experience of chemical birth control and all of its side effects. We attended a Natural Family Planning class and read Taking Charge of Your Fertility. I looked up from the pages of Toni Weschler’s book one morning and felt both empowered and angry. Why had no one ever shared this information with me before? I immediately began charting my cycles and, 10 years later, am continually amazed at the design of the body and how it works.

On our family planning adventure, our second pregnancy is the only one of our 3 pregnancies that was actually “planned”. We had discussed spacing our children 2-3 years apart and I was in awe of  getting pregnant just as planned. I was in charge of my own fertility!

What I didn’t realize is that I may be in charge of my own body and reading its signs, but the whole creation of human beings and the divine plan for their lives, is still maybe a little bigger than me.

The part that I love most about this story are the lessons I learned – lessons of letting go, believing in community, and that miracles really do happen. I have referred back to each one of my birth stories for strength. But with this story, whenever I think something is impossible, I remember the month leading up to the birth of our girls. It truly was amazing to watch the story unfold.

Acacia and Ameena’s Birth Story

Two years after our first beautiful homebirth, we were planning our second. I had a very normal and healthy pregnancy with “Baby Max” – just a bit tired and more aches and pains than the 1st time around, all to be expected when running around after a toddler.

Around 20 weeks, my midwife started getting “ambiguous” measurements when she measured my fundal height. “I could measure it here, or……here”, she said as she moved up a bit on my belly. Then, she and my doula friend Ranelle started to joke about twins, something that was never a possibility, nor was it funny, in my mind. Meanwhile, I also started getting comments from random people asking if I was having twins. Note to those of you addressing a pregnant woman – if you want said pregnant woman to ever speak to you again, never ever, even if you know it’s true, ask a woman if she is carrying more than 1 baby. It’s wrong.

During my 30 week appointment, my fundal height was no longer “ambiguous” but was measuring clearly at 34cm. My midwife felt “a lot of baby” and estimated the weight to be around 6 pounds, if it was just one baby. However, she estimated the size based on the baby’s head to be around 4 pounds. We discussed the possibility that there were 2 babies in there, due to all the “little parts” she was feeling, and she suggested getting an ultrasound. Unfortunately, this was the one appointment (in both pregnancies) that my husband wasn’t able to attend and I was in complete shock. I called him from the car and said, “you’ll never believe what just happened.”

We got a second midwife’s opinion who suggested singleton pregnancy with polyhydramniosis (too much amniotic fluid) and confirmed the suggestion for an ultrasound. So, at 32 weeks, I reluctantly entered the ultrasound office concerned of all of the possibilities that could be causing the excess fluid, still convinced that there was only ONE baby in my belly. After a few normal questions, and about 3 minutes of scanning, the ultrasound tech asked, “Did you know you are having twins?”

WHAT?! My husband laughed, I cried.

I was completely overwhelmed. We have no history of twins in either of our families and though we joked about the possibility earlier on, I just “knew” it wasn’t possible. Ranelle had always prayed for twins for herself and at one point during my pregnancy had said, “Well, maybe God is giving you the twins”. I made some sort of desperate comment about how he would be making a horrible mistake if that was the case. She sweetly replied then, and many times since then, “God doesn’t make mistakes”.

All I could think about was that I would have to give up my homebirth (and by the way, how in the world were we going to take care of these babies!? but that’s a whole other story). Homebirth is completely legal in Colorado and parents have the right to make the decision about where they have their babies, and who attends them (including having an “unassited” or unattended birth). The reason I thought I would have to give up my homebirth, is that we were not comfortable with an unassisted birth and due to the regulations for Colorado midwives, our midwife would not be able to attend us. Midwifery is regulated by DORA (Department of Regulatory Agencies) and the midwives have partnered with DORA to create statutes, rules, regulations, and policies regarding their practice. Included within the regulations, are also restrictions and in Colorado regarding twins, they read, “midwife shall refer mothers for evaluation by a qualified licensed health care provider and shall not continue as the care provider when a multiple gestation or a presentation other than vertex at the onset of labor are noted.”

However, having been a hospital doula for 7 years, I couldn’t imagine how I was ever going to have a hospital birth. I had seen too much and my fear was too deep – I believed I would cause my own c-section. We began to weigh our options. Do we still consider a homebirth? Isn’t delivering twins scary? Maybe we can talk the HMO staff into considering an “alternative” twin delivery in the hospital.

We talked with a very nice OB with one of the best reputations within the HMO who, after offering us an elective C-section, gave us statistics like “75% of twins born (in our hospital) are delivered by section” and “prolapsed cord and breech presentations are common and serious complications of delivering twin B.” She delivers one set of twins a year, about average for all the other OB’s. She said, “The doctors at our hospital like to think that they are prepared to do nothing and everything,” but she gave every indication that they would most likely do everything because “we’re not calm when twins come in and we don’t sleep well when something goes wrong and we lose a baby or a mom. We really don’t.”

She suggested my husband do his own research using the resources available to him through the HMO as an employee. What he learned was that with as healthy as I and the twins were, the risk was not higher than a normal healthy singleton birth. We talked to many midwives who said that “if mom is eating right and babies are healthy, you should go to term.” This coupled with the fact that we had no choice or control over which of more than 25 physicians would attend our birth, helped us come to our final conclusion.

Believing that home is a safer place to have healthy babies than the hospital, we began to believe that this was the safest place for the twins to be born!

So the question changed from “Isn’t delivering twins scary?” to “Who is more confident in their ability to assist vaginal birth of twin and breech babies?” Gabbe’s Obstetrics and many of the studies supporting vaginal delivery of twins warned that the delivery should only be performed by someone well-versed and comfortable with external version and breech extraction. Our OB said that breech extractions were becoming more common with the increase in twin births, but most doctors still tend toward cesarean. And again, we had no control over which of the many HMO OB’s would actually be on-call for our birth and whether the one attending would be more comfortable with a breech extraction, or a c-section.

With all of the information we gathered regarding our choices and my growing anxiety around a hospital birth, we began to believe this wasn’t the best option for us. However, unassisted birth or asking a CO midwife to put her license on the line for our “underground” experience, didn’t really seem like a viable option for us either.

So, I sent out a probing email to a few of my midwifery mentors asking them what suggestions or ideas they might have to help us have the natural birth and holistic care for our newborns that we were hoping for. What followed, was nothing short of a miracle. I learned that in many states, unlike Colorado, the regulations did include vaginal breech and multiple gestation. Some of these include Tennessee, Texas, and Utah (at the time).

I put out a call to my natural birth community and the flood of emails and phone calls of support was absolutely amazing. We began pursuing The Farm in Tennessee, due to their amazing statistics regarding normal vaginal birth at their birth center, and were amazed to find that those numbers included twins and breech babies! I spoke with Ina May and she was encouraging and supportive but couldn’t confirm a place for us until one of her other twin mamas gave birth.

With the help of our Colorado midwife, we were put in touch with her mentor and midwife in Texas. She was happy to accept us as her clients and we continued to move closer in our plans to leave Colorado.

A couple of days later, a doula in Austin heard of our story and suggested Suzanne Smith- a wonderful and experienced midwife in Utah, even closer to home. After we interviewed each other, she invited us to come on out. Simultaneously, the Texas midwife had a freak and debilitating horse accident and called to let us know that she was sorry, but she wouldn’t be able to help us with our birth after all.

From there, a cascade of people knowing people pulled everything together, including a double-wide trailer with 3 bedrooms, minimally furnished by new friends, and air-conditioning – all for just the basic cost of utilities. In a matter of 4 weeks, we made the temporary move to Utah.

The first couple of weeks went by pretty quickly. Caleb went to work each day using the wifi connection at the Borders coffee shop in the next town over, about 10 minutes away. Malachi and I spent our days playing in the park, exploring the town, visiting our favorite natural foods store, and playing in our “yard”, with “Goldie” the dog on the other side of the fence. In the evenings we would pick Caleb up from “work” and go for a walk on the trail, take a swim, or explore the town. We took many weekend trips visiting Bridle falls, Strawberry Reservoir, and Salt Lake City and the temple.

About 2 weeks in, our support plan kicked in. We had rotating family members and friends start coming in to help take care of Malachi. The first shift was our sweet sister and brother-in-law. They were a welcome encouragement and new energy to help entertain Malachi. Then, our Colorado midwife and her family joined us as labor support and their daughter was a fun playmate for Malachi. Then, my mom arrived as Brigitte and Andrei had to head back to Colorado. We always had loving support by our side which made our double wide in a strange town, feel more like home. Though, one by one, they were all running out of time to stay, as my pregnancy continued on and on. My mom approached me with 1 day left before she would have to leave with tears in her eyes.

After a month in Utah and 41 weeks of pregnancy, we had tried almost every “natural” thing to get labor started. When I asked Suzanne to check me, she found that I was walking around at 5cm. So, at 5:30p I had her strip my membranes, a big decision for a person who touts no interventions. Her instructions were for us to call her once I was in a “contraction pattern”. Right, like that hasn’t been going on for months. So, we headed out for a short walk, a little doubtful. But, it worked like a charm, and by 7p I was having contractions 5 minutes apart, increasing in intensity.

When I requested that Malachi and Caleb fill the birth tub, Caleb said, “If you want the tub, I’m calling the midwife”. Reluctantly, I agreed. The midwife team came flying in the door about 15 minutes later, and there they sat for the next few hours. Caleb and Malachi were so sweet, and Mo was concerned with how much each “traction hurting, mommy”. Around 10p, when he was losing steam, I had my mom take him for a van ride to help him to sleep.

At 11:41p I started pushing on my knees in the birth tub. And, on August 19, 2005 at 12:16 a.m. Acacia Lynn was born in the water, in the caul. They broke her bag and passed her to me. My midwife held my belly so that Baby B wouldn’t turn in any funky positions. I held Acacia in amazement and before I could imagine how much time had gone by, my midwife said that Baby B was ready whenever I was ready to push. “What, are you serious?!”

While holding Acacia, I pushed in semi-sitting position (which was new and awkward to me) and at 12:26 a.m. Ameena Renee was born in the water, in the caul. It took 2 people to break her bag. We had to stimulate her some, they cleared her mouth with a bulb syringe and she began breathing. Once I knew she was ok, I leaned back in my husband’s arms and wept. And as we held our girls, I felt the weight of the previous 9 weeks lifting……until all 3 kids started crying at the same time.

The girls weighed 7# and 7#1 oz, and latched right away. I had minimal blood loss but could barely walk without constant support of my very empty belly. My mom flew home the next day and my mother-in-law flew in to help us return our double wide to its’ previously vacant state and make the two-day trip home.

Thirty six hours after they were born, we were packed up and on the road. We made a few stops along the way, including many truck stops (with babies in slings trying to avoid gaulkers and germs), one or two postpartum breakdowns on my part (sorry Karen!), ice cream cones, and an overnight stay in Wyoming.

We made it safely back to a beautiful Colorado welcome from our sweet family and friends.
And, my dear friend Ranelle, you were right…..God doesn’t make mistakes.

.

This story has been published in the Colorado Midwives Association newsletter and The Birth Project.

Malachi’s Birth Story (Angela’s First Homebirth)

As Birth Story Month comes to a close here on the WTG blog, I’ve decided to include my own birth stories as well. They definitely play into my story of becoming a midwife, but more importantly, they are a huge part of who I am as a whole, and the journey that I am on. So blessed by these little people that I have been given the opportunity to mother.

I wrote this story back in 2003 not long after Malachi was born. It’s very interesting to read the story almost 10 years (and hundreds of births) later. At the time, I was a hospital doula and had seen many interventions and negative outcomes. It was huge for me to have a homebirth with my first baby, and I felt so empowered. I had come a long way from that fast-food-twinkie-eating-latch-key-couch-potato that I was once was! I eat organic food and I choose homebirth!

And even so, I can see how it was still very much the beginning of my journey. If you read carefully, you may see the influence of my hospital births, and the many points where I was trying to be in control of my birth – positions I was in, who was there at what time, how many vaginal exams I had (out of curiosity and impatience, and just not knowing any better), and interventions (though I would never have called them that at the time). But, as a wise woman recently said to me after her own experience, “Always learning as we go…Next time I will do better, and that’s all I can do from now on.”

Malachi’s Birth Story:

In June of 2002, I married a wonderful man named Caleb and a minute later….we were pregnant with our first child. I have had the honor of attending many births and yet the personal and awesome experience of childbirth was more than I ever imagined!

At 40 weeks, we scheduled our next midwife appointment for the following week. Christie said, “We’ll schedule it just in case, but these usually end up being postpartum visits ”.

I laughed at her because I’ve had many first time moms think the same thing and then they are still pregnant two weeks later. I was determined not to be one of those depressed women wondering why she hasn’t had her baby yet. So I was prepared to wait it out.

We left Christie’s and proceeded to Amici’s Italian Restaurant, which I haven’t eaten at in years. We had a big salad and split a calzone. It was yummy!
And, apparently just what my body needed to kick me into labor……

I awoke with Caleb the next morning as he was getting ready to leave for work. It was around 8AM and I casually mentioned that I was having some contractions. They were similar to the braxton hix contractions I had been having but a little different. I timed a few and they were about 15-20 minutes apart. But, I remembered my midwife’s instructions (as if I’ve never told any of my clients any of these things) to time a few and then ignore them so as not to be so focused on early labor. Plus, I was telling myself they would go away and start up again about a week later. I did remember to rest some and save up my energy. I refused to call anyone, because who knew if this was real or not and I didn’t want my doula driving from Longmont (with her 4 week old baby) and my husband leaving work if it’s not for real. Besides, I had a much-needed haircut scheduled with my cousin for that evening that I was determined to get before I had a baby.

After a couple of hours, I got up and started in around the house. I did a load of laundry, cleaned the bathroom, took a shower, which just happened to turn into a hot bath to help me relax. While in the bathtub, I heard my husband’s voice on the answering machine saying he was going to lunch with a friend across the street (to be close). At this point I was thinking, maybe I’ll have my cousin come here to give me a haircut when she gets out of school at 2:30p instead of driving to Northglenn.

I got out of the bath and as I was squatting during a contraction, which was still pretty mild when…..”Can you believe those baseboards? How did they get so dirty?” Which is what my husband came home to (about 1:45p), me squatting in the bathroom, breathing and cleaning baseboards.

I called my mom and told her the situation. She had some things I needed at her house so she left work to come down. Chrisite has a history of clients that only give her driving time before they have their babies, and I didn’t want to do that to her either. So, I decided I would call her when Caleb got home. Well, it’s as if I was waiting to kick into active labor until he got home as well. He was in and out of the house bringing the tub inside, installing the carseat in the car, etc. You know, all the things that you wait to do until the last minute and then wish you had done them earlier. I was on the phone with Christie and Ranelle (my doula), while sitting on the ball, telling them that I was in early labor but doing o.k. and that they had time. Christie said she would go home to get her stuff ready and call back in an hour if she hadn’t heard from me. Ranelle went to lay down with baby Blake to get some rest.

Caleb started timing contractions at 3:42p and they were 3-5 minutes apart and lasting a minute to a minute and a half long. We enjoyed our last few minutes by ourselves before everyone arrived. By the time Christie was to call back, I was ready. I had Caleb tell her to come and he also called Ranelle and asked her to make the trip down as well. I guess I’m not going to get my haircut after all, and I’m finally willing to admit that I’m in labor.

Christie arrived around 4:40p and then my mom and they worked on getting the tub filled. Ranelle followed shortly after with baby Blake, who helped tremendously by reminding me with his occasional sweet little noises, that I was going to have a baby!

Christie checked me at 5:25p and I was 4cm, 90% effaced, -1 station, which was mostly acceptable to me. She then called the assistant midwife and asked her to come as well. Contractions were 3 minutes apart, lasting 1-2 minutes. I labored for a little while with the heating pad, while swaying in my bedroom, and then moved to the bed where Ranelle, Caleb and my mom alternated massaging my back.

My mother-in-law and sister-in-law came and left almost unnoticed, except for their quick wave as they walked by, and the huge spread of food they brought us – rotisserie chicken, grapes, celery with peanut butter, yum! Just a little different than the normal ice chip routine that I usually see in the hospital!

I got back into the shower with Caleb so he could massage my back until they got the tub filled (note to anyone having a homebirth – turn up the water heater to HIGH). He prayed that God would release us from all fear and when we got out, we both had such a peace about us.

I got into the tub at 6:40p, which is where I stayed for the next 4 hours, either squatting or on my knees. Caleb also got pruney with me as he applied pressure to my back with every contraction, and had to withstand the incredible heat that I kept asking to be added to the water.

At 7:30p contractions were 2 minutes apart lasting 60-90 seconds. Christie checked me at 8:25p and I expected to hear that I was 8.5cm (like Ranelle was on her 1st check!!) because I knew my contractions were strong, close and long. Transition right? No – I was 5-6cm. “But very thin, and remember it takes longer to get from 1-5 than from 5-10″ etc. etc. and all the things we tell people, when they aren’t as far as they expected to be and are discouraged. I started crying, also one of the things that I think is a good thing for my clients in labor because they release all of their control. Though, I wasn’t very positive about it happening to me.

My sweet husband held me and encouraged me to “cry it out” which I did…for about 30 seconds, until my next contraction hit. So, I lumbered my way up from leaning on him, back to my squatting position. Ranelle encouraged me that though this was hard, she knew I could do it. And having just been at her birth the month before with the same birth team, this meant so much to me. She also prayed for strength and assurance for me to continue. Now I know the added assurance that an experienced woman brings (not that women that don’t have children can’t be wonderful doulas and midwives!!).

At that point, I really felt the baby move down, and I knew I had to pull it together and deal with these contractions if I was going to make it through. My breathing changed so much that Christie asked me if my contractions had changed (thinking maybe they had lessened in intensity). I started to answer and said “They’re kinda……” and then another contraction hit me. At 9:05p I was feeling more pressure and at 10p I was 9cm with a lip on the right side, 0 station and grunty in the tub. Ellie (assistant midwife) encouraged me to get out of the tub (I didn’t want to have the baby in the tub so I needed to move into the next room for the birth), as the movement itself might encourage the rest of the cervix to move away. I wasn’t willing to get out until I knew I would be able to push soon.

At 10:30p I was 9.5 cm and still had a little bit of cervix on the right side. So, I asked Christie to see if she could “Please make it go away”. So, while I sat on the ball and leaned back on Caleb, she held the rim back while I pushed through 1 contraction. Then on the second contraction, I couldn’t stand her holding it anymore because I had this incredible lower back pain. She felt like it had moved up over the baby’s head so I moved from the ball to the futon couch and leaned over the back of it for the next few contractions. As I pushed, I couldn’t stand the pain and loudly groaned/yelled for a couple of contractions, as I squatted into them. Finally, I was determined that this wasn’t going to go away until I had this baby and I pushed through the incredible pain. Then, at 10:54p my water broke! I was able to push well, with the pain not as intense in my back, and they could see the head. Christie asked me to turn around because the baby was not going to clear the edge of the futon with me squatting on the edge, facing backwards. So, I squatted in front of the futon while Caleb sat behind me and supported me.

AND…..at 11:07p on 4/29/03 Malachi Joseph Seeling was born!!

He weighed 8lbs 4oz and was 21 ¼ inches long. And do you know at his 6 week visit, he already weighed 13lbs 4oz? Chalk 1 up for breastfed babies!
Malachi’s birth was absolutely wonderful. I have waited almost 30 years and it was all I could have asked the Lord for.

My birth team was wonderful and my dear sweet husband was the best partner and support that I could ever have imagined. I am so blessed by Malachi and thankful for this wonderful opportunity!
And a true testimony to homebirth, my husband – a skeptic in the beginning of our homebirth conversations, was a true believer throughout labor and said he couldn’t imagine it any other way!

Canon’s Birth Story

This sweet couple came to us during their second pregnancy. It was so fun to watch their transformation over the months that we were together and into becoming a family of four. We cover a ton of information in our prenatal visits and one of our topics is on nutrition. Sometimes it’s old hat, sometimes it’s overnight conversion, but most of the time it’s a slower, more organic conversion. I love this quote from Courtney in one of our online conversations a few months after Canon’s birth – “Always learning as we go, I feel the same way about my eating habits – they weren’t as bad as they could have been but I didn’t take care of myself like I should have. I wonder that if I ate like I do now if my anemia wouldn’t have been a problem as well. Next time I will do better, and that’s all I can do from now on.” They’re now avid green smoothie drinkers, blogging on the topic of ‘becoming green’, and may even consider placenta encapsulation the next time around!

Courtney and Tyler, you’re amazing parents and advocates for birth, breastfeeding, and health. Such a pleasure to work with you.

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At 10:30 pm on 2/22 I started having regular contractions that lasted 90 seconds and were 4 minutes apart. I didn’t feel they were strong enough to call the midwives, but Tyler insisted at 11:30 pm. In the next few minutes they arrived. They decided to watch the contractions, timing them, and decided to hang out for at least two hours to see if they got stronger. Two hours later my labor had not seemed to progress.

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Julie asked if I wanted to be checked. I hadn’t planned on being checked, but in that moment I felt defeated and curious. At 1:20 am on 2/23, I was 7cm, +1station, cervix posterior. I was shocked that I was 7cm – I had not expected that!

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At 6:00 am, there were no changes. Since I hadn’t progressed and my contractions had stopped I told them to go home and get some rest. Julie suggested I try inversions after resting. She felt that his head was so low that it was impeding my cervix from moving forward and dilating any further. I knew since I was 7cm it would not be long before our son would join our world. All I wanted was sleep! When I woke up I would try the inversion.

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I tried the inversion at 12:00 pm. Oh boy did that hurt! Having the baby come back out of my pelvis in the wrong direction is probably the strangest sensation I have ever experienced. I checked myself at 2:00 pm and my cervix had finally moved forward! At 2:00 am on 2/24 I had my third bloody show as of date. Contractions were steady and uncomfortable yet faint, not seeming to put me into transitional labor.

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I woke up on 2/24 around 10 am when Tyler left for work (a little late so I could sleep in while he helped Jaelynn with her morning routine). When I got up I walked to the kitchen and a small gush of wet came out of me. I thought in a sleepy and confused way “Oh that might be my water breaking”. I calmly go to the bathroom and check my underwear it was slightly pink but very watery. I call Julie to let her know what happened and that I’m not having contractions. I was to have an appointment with Julie and Angela at 3:00. They said on their lunch break they would stop by and see how I was doing.

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I went about my morning. I sat on the couch to wait for Tyler’s parents and watch cartoons with Jaelynn. A few minutes later I had a contraction. Now, this contraction was much stronger than any I had been experiencing up to date, which made me stop because it hurt quite a bit. I called Tyler and said, “I think it’s time, but don’t come home yet – I will call you when I know for sure.” I had another contraction. This one brought me to tears, not because of the pain, but because in that moment I realized that this was happening right now – my son was coming today. I felt I would do most of my laboring alone like when I had Jaelynn and for some reason that made me scared and tearful. I called Tyler again and informed him while sobbing, “This is real, I need you here!” Tyler’s parents came over to help with Jaelynn until Tyler was able to get home. Tyler arrived and I decided that I wanted to be in our room so I could have more privacy and Tyler could start filling the tub.

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I was on my birthing ball, using the bed for balance and trying to relax through each contraction, when my midwives arrived. Julie watched me throughout the contraction. When it was over she stated that I was actually in labor – that I was completely focused on the contraction this time. I continued to sit on my ball doing wide, rolling hip circles. I decided the tub seemed like a good idea at this point, and as soon as I got in it eased the contraction pain and I relaxed. I tried different positions to see what I liked. I sat on my knees while having them spread out, I leaned forward, backward, but mostly I was squatting. I relaxed as much as possible and let the contractions do their job. In between contractions I kept conversations going with my midwives and Tyler. I wanted control and knowledge over my birth so I had my hand down to feel where his head was. I felt his head was about half a finger inside of me and the bag was still intact with a little bit of squish (that’s an official term). I kept my midwives informed on what I felt.

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Jaelynn wanted to see us so Tyler’s mom brought her in. She asked if I was ok and let us know that I was having “baby brother”. She was excited and doing very well with the situation. She left to lay down for her nap as I continued to labor in the tub.

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 At each contraction I felt his head move down a bit but as soon as the contraction was over his head slid right back to where it was before. I did notice though that the bag around his head was bulging much more than before, it took a little push on it to feel his head when I had felt his head right away before. So I decided to get out of the tub (around 2:30p) because I felt I wasn’t progressing. I decided to pace the room and see if it helped me to get things moving but that was causing even more pressure in my back. I decided to do wide hip circles on the ball again. This time, each circle I did gave me a really hard contraction. After awhile I was ready for the tub again. It felt like HEAVEN!

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Julie asked me if I wanted my water broken. She said she would rather not break it, but if I wanted to I could actually do it myself. All I had to do is push on the bag with my finger during a contraction and it should pop and break. I was not ready for that step yet. I continued to labor and started to feel rather discouraged so I decided that with the next contraction I would push on my bag. I was nervous and knew that he would arrive very soon after it broke.

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I felt cautiously as my contraction tightened around my belly. Internally, I felt the bag get taught and bulge even more. I put a tiny bit of pressure on it and slowly added more until… POP! It actually surprised me and made me jump a bit. “Wow, that was so amazing!”, was all I could think. Then my contractions became very intense. These were so close together that I focused in on my body. I don’t recall how many of those contractions happened before I was pushing.

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Angela holds up four fingers to let Julie know how much of the head she feels.

Once the pushing started my yelling did as well. I groaned/yelled through each push. At one point I yelled I’m not opening! I felt his head bulging right there but I felt as if I  was not opening to let him out. Angela asked if she could feel me and see where his head was. She held up 4 fingers to Julie letting her know that I was open. My midwife, who thought we had time when I said I’m not opening, started to rush and grab the things we needed for delivery. I gave another nice good yell, and a strong push, and out came his head!

Sweet relief… Almost!

With Jaelynn once her head came her whole body slid out and I had expected that to happen this time. I had to give another strong push to get his body out. Tyler was behind me as I was squatting and leaning on the edge of the tub. Tyler and Angela were there to catch him. I was so relieved that he was out! I turned around and lifted my right leg over the cord so I could face them and see my baby.

Tyler handed him to me while he was quietly sobbing from joy. I laid him on my chest, relaxed against the tub, and took in those first few moments with my new baby. Everyone asked, “So is it a boy?” I felt under his bottom and confirmed he was indeed a boy.

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I was asked to stand up and get out of the tub to deliver the placenta. I didn’t have to do much – I just stood there, as gravity did the work, and gave a small push to get the last part of it out.

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Then I made my way to our bed. And that’s where I finally had the chance to really look into the beautiful face Tyler and I had created. We laid him on my chest so he could find the breast on his own, as he squeaked and talked to us. He reached my nipple and started to suckle all on his own! He latched perfectly the first time. It was one of the most precious moments I have ever witnessed.

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While I was in a little love trance, my midwives were watching my bleeding. Due to some lemon-sized clots and a continuous flow of blood (even after massaging my uterus), I took some medication which slowed the bleeding – but not enough.  Next, they suggested putting a small piece of the placenta in my mouth stating that the hormones in it would work to stop the bleeding. After cringing I figured, “Why not? It’s better than going to the hospital.” The bleeding stopped almost right after I put it in my mouth. To help me build up the blood I lost, my midwife asked me to drink 32 oz of water with the last of the chlorophyll from the bottle I had been taking during pregnancy. My mouth and teeth turned green from the chlorophyll. I was a sight for sure! Pale as snow and a green mouth.

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We left the cord intact so that baby could get all the last nourishments from it. After about an hour when it had emptied and naturally clamped off itself we burned his cord instead if cutting it. It took over 20 minutes for it to burn all the way through.

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Canon was born at 3:33 pm on 2/24/2012 – weighing  7 lbs. 1 oz.,  20 in. tall, and 14 in. head circumference!

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I am so glad he is in our lives. It feels as if he has always been here and we are even more complete than I ever thought possible!  I love watching him and my daughter interact – no one can make him laugh quite like she can. They have an incredible bond and I can not wait to see how it continues to grow stronger – which only makes me more excited to have more babies when the time comes!